Joe Biden Isn’t Running For President, His Teleprompter Is

Election 2020 has seen its fair share of the comical and bizarre, of the heartening and debased. There is something to be learned from it all, I believe, even from a simple machine designed to facilitate clear communication to the general public. Once the prized, not-so-secret weapon of President Obama’s supposed rhetorical prowess, the teleprompter has become the conspicuous centerpiece of Joe Biden’s third attempt to capture America’s highest office.

Saving Obama from his tendency to uhhhh and errrr his way through the English language, the teleprompter made him appear oh-so-presidential and caused his swooning supporters’ chests to swell with pride, and gormless Republicans to quake in their loafers. The teleprompter was so essential to preserving Obama’s carefully crafted image that someone started a parody blog with the catchy tagline, “There is no POTUS without TOTUS.” No matter what the teleprompter says or what its handler does, Biden is bound to gaffe it up.

Stepping on a rake has been part of Biden’s shtick for ages, and we’ve been gaslighted to think this is the essence of charm. That’s just Joe, folks! But in 2014, then-Vice President Biden’s blunders caught up with him again, this time embarrassing the Obama administration.

So The New Yorker published an articleabout his verbal doozies that riled allies at home and interests abroad. That was not that long ago, but six years can have a profound, compounding effect on the brain. It’s now a crapshoot what’s going to come out of Biden’s mouth on or off the prompter.