Most of all, parents struggling to know what to do with a child feeling gender dysphoria need to hear these stories to know they are not alone. One such story from the small Wisconsin town of Wales is alarming, to say the least.
In a May 18 letter to the school board president and superintendent of the Kettle Moraine School District, the Wisconsin Institute for Law and Liberty and Alliance Defending Freedom—representing two heartbroken parents—explained how the school violated the rights of the parents.
According to the letter, “The District has a policy allowing minor students to change their gender identity at school without parental consent, and even over their parents’ objection. This policy violates parents’ constitutional rights to raise their children.”
After the couple’s 12-year-old daughter began “to experience rapid onset gender dysphoria, along with significant anxiety and depression,” her parents withdrew her from the school and placed her in a mental health center, which only continued to affirm the daughter’s increasing desire to be transgender.
“In early January, she expressed to her parents and school staff that she wanted to adopt a male name and pronouns when she returned to school,” the letter states.
Here is the key portion of the letter, which any parent in this difficult scenario should read with interest:
The [redacted] however, decided that immediately transitioning would not be in their daughter’s best interest, based on their knowledge of her and extensive research into this issue. They wanted their daughter to take time to explore the cause of her feelings before allowing such a significant change to her identity. They communicated this to her and to her school and requested that staff refer to their daughter using her legal name and female pronouns when she returned to school.
But the District refused to honor their request. The [redacted] were told that, pursuant to District policy, school staff would be required to address their daughter using a male name and pronouns if that’s what she wanted.
Concerned that daily affirmation of a male identity could harm their daughter, the [redacted] had no choice but to withdraw her from the District, and they began searching for a private school that would respect their role as parents.
But the District refused to honor their request. The [redacted] were told that, pursuant to District policy, school staff would be required to address their daughter using a male name and pronouns if that’s what she wanted.
Concerned that daily affirmation of a male identity could harm their daughter, the [redacted] had no choice but to withdraw her from the District, and they began searching for a private school that would respect their role as parents.
Later, the demand letter states the parents’ concerns were validated. Just a few weeks after the parents withdrew their daughter from school, “she expressed to her mother that ‘affirmative care really messed me up.’” The daughter has now “reverted to identifying by her birth name and female pronouns and enrolled in a different school district.”
It’s imperative that parents read and understand stories like this. Not only did the school’s policy violate the parents’ constitutional rights, but perhaps more importantly, the parents did the right thing in their care for their daughter. The school attempted to subvert their authority and pushed the idea of a transition down their daughter’s proverbial throat, even though they eventually were proven to be hasty and wrong.
The danger of hearing only one perspective on these issues—the predominant view that children with gender dysphoria should transition—is that parents may assume that is the only way to handle dysphoria. This is not the case, and there are hundreds of stories of people who regret their transitions that demonstrate this.
