Stop Letting Them Test You: Breaking The COVID Construct

D.C. Health is giving out “Home COVID-19 Testing Kits” at libraries across the capital city.

At the majority of these sites, you’ll be handed two plastic, red, white, and blue envelopes per person. “Muriel Bowser, Mayor,” they read at the bottom. “Testyourselfdc.com.”

“Isn’t that wonderful!” you might be thinking, as you tear open the seal. “I want to be sure these winter sniffles aren’t COVID before I see my mother, or visit grandpa, or go away with some friends.”

Inside the envelopes, you’ll find a one-ended Q-tip (a “Nasal Self Swab”), wrapped in plastic; an official-looking LabCorp test tube, wrapped in plastic; and instructions to report your name, race, age, and sex to the city government, stick the Q-tip up your nose, deposit it in the test tube, put the “specimen bag” in the return envelope and drop it off at “one of the District’s specimen collection boxes by 8 p.m. the same day.”